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It was a sports stadium. Eight Children were standing on the track to Participate in the running event. * Ready! * Steady! * Bang !!! With the sound of Toy pistol, All eight girls started running . Hardly have they covered ten to fifteen steps, One of the smaller girl s slipped and fell down, Due to bruises and pain she started crying . When other seven girls heard this sound, Stopped running, stood for a while And turned back, They all ran back to the place where the girl fell down. One among them bent, picked and kissed the girl gently And enquired 'Now pain must have reduced'. All seven girls lifted the fallen girl, pacified her, Two of them held the girl firmly And they all seven joined hands together And walked together and reached the winning post. Officials were shocked. Clapping of thousands of spectators filled the stadium. Many eyes were filled with tears And ...

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’ After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’ ‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies. ‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’ Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of cow dung and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the 2nd branch. Finally, after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral: BULLSHIT MIGHT GET YOU TO THE TOP, BUT IT WON'T KEEP YOU THERE.

Husbands’ Query. CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage BrideGroom Male (25) , Bride Female(20) AS BEGIN SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides WHERE FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire' AND Count(Car) > 20 AND HouseStatus ='ThreeStoreyed' AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having Brothers= Null AND Sisters =Null SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalan ce FROM FatherInLaw UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherInLawGold INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES ('BMW') END GO Finally Wife writes below query … DROP HUSBAND; Commit;

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams .. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ "When I read about the evils of...

~~~~~~~~~~~ A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!' While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!' ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.' The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.' The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few ...

Time was 5.51PM.After hard day I made up my mind to be relaxed by something.And browsed through flckr in search of something of relax my mind and I found something what I feel a masterpiece. Proficiently he must be a photographer.And have some knowledge about photo edition too. Any way I admire his work To See More works

( The following answers were given by elementary school children to the following questions) Question----"Why Did God Make Mothers?"" The answers: 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. Q-----"How Did God Make Mothers?" 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. Q----"What Ingredients Are Mother's Made Of ?" 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they He mostly use string I think. Q----"Why Did God Give You Your Mother And not Some Other Mom?...

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA : Here it is! TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS : Maria! ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank? FRANK : Because of the sign. TEACHER : What sign? FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables! ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?" GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER : No, that's wrong GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : ...

3 MEN GO INTO A MOTEL. THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK SAID THE ROOM IS $30 SO EACH MAN PAID $10 AND WENT TO THE ROOM. A WHILE LATER THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK REALIZED THE ROOM WAS ONLY $25 SO HE SENT THE BELLBOY TO THE 3 GUYS' ROOM WITH $5. ON THE WAY THE BELLBOY COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SPLIT $5 EVENLY BETWEEN 3 MEN, SO HE GAVE EACH MAN A $1 AND KEPT THE OTHER $2 FOR HIMSELF. THIS MEANT THAT THE 3 MEN EACH PAID $9 FOR THE ROOM, WHICH IS A TOTAL OF $27, ADD THE $2 THAT THE BELLBOY KEPT = $29. WHERE IS THE OTHER DOLLAR?